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Hi, this is Michael Dyer again with AquinasOnDating.com. Glad to see you made it. And now, without further ado, the five biggest dating mistakes you are making right now.

1.    We're here to talk about the early problems that guys have when they try to get good with women. Usually, the story goes something like this: the girls I like don't like me. I remember back in college how that was one of my terminal problems. I had some girls who were interested in me, but I just didn't really find them attractive, but the girls I was interested in didn't really find me attractive. And I noticed that I was not alone in this problem either. A lot of my friends were going through the exact same thing, and it seemed as if a girl you liked also liked you in return, it was just magic.

2.    There were two primary pitfalls that came out of this experience. The first is trying to fly under the radar, being a girl's friend first. Some girls will even say this, "I think we should be friends first for awhile and see if there is some potential there." The biggest problem with this attitude is the fact that it doesn't work. First, and foremost, if you try to be a girl's friend, you get into the same category as her other friends, her female friends. You're automatically putting yourself in a category she wouldn't go into. Friends first, even if she says that, typically does not work out. There's typically not a lot of attraction or passion or romance on the horizon because that's a completely different path.

3.    So I decided I wouldn't do that, and I would straight out ask out ten girls. If even one girl said yes, then I can eventually meet enough women and have some level of success. One of the things that I noticed is that you can also be too bold, asking a girl out at time zero. There were girls where literally I would walk up to them and say these words verbatim, "Hi, I think you're really pretty. Can I call you sometime?" I did get a lot of phone numbers with this, but nobody ever picked up because I didn't give her a reason to say yes yet.

4.    So, one of two things will typically happen. You'll try to build some common ground first, but you'll build it from the foundation of friendship, which is completely different path from romance. Or, you'll try to go to romance directly without building anything else, without giving the girl a reason to say yes. Of course, the solution is in the middle ground, being bold enough to ask a girl out but at the same time being ware enough to know that you have to give her some information about why she should go out with you. We'll be talking a lot about that later. One of the keys, though to seeing if someone is going to be responsive to the romantic part of your interest in her is being able to notice whether or not a woman is open. For example, with a new group of guys meeting for the first time, new roommate, new club that you joined, new college group, if you're talking to one of the guys there and he's not paying attention to you and seems like he's trying to walk away or do something else, what are the chances that he is going to be your friend? Now, if a girl is doing that exact same thing, what makes us as men think there's still a chance that she will be interested in us romantically? What are the chances that she is going to want more than friendship if she is doing something that someone who is going to be your friend who is a guy won't even do?

5.    A word about crushes as well because frequently it's not an immediate action where you see a pretty girl and go try to be her friend or ask her out right then. You'll see a girl, or she's in one of your college groups, or one of your classes, or a woman at your workplace and you think she's pretty and you'll possibly know her a little bit and you start building up in your mind, even over months. You think, "Wouldn't it be great if she would be my girlfriend?" Or you might even tell yourself, "I think I'm falling in love with this girl." You start getting a real serious crush. This may sound harsh, but in many ways what you are doing is coveting this girl. Because this is not a situation where you've really gotten to know her and know a lot about her and know that she is what you want. You don't know even if she wants you. You don't know that much about her, that's the way crushes are. Crushes are usually images in the distance that you kind of prostrate yourself towards. And so, when you've built up all that pressure in your mind, is it any wonder that you have a lot of nervousness about going over and talking to a girl. It's like you're an ancient Greek trying to approach a goddess directly. It's something that he just wouldn't do. She's this object of worship who gives so much to me and can hurt me by rejecting me. It's no wonder that you don't want to approach her.